Networking has a bad reputation, and honestly, it has earned part of it. For many people, the word immediately brings up an uncomfortable scene: walking up to someone you do not know, trying to sound confident, explaining who you are, making a good impression, exchanging LinkedIn profiles, and somehow turning a two-minute conversation into a “valuable professional connection”. No wonder so many people hate it.
The discomfort is not irrational. Research discussed by Harvard Business School shows that professional networking can make people feel uneasy when it is experienced as purely instrumental: when the hidden message seems to be, “I am talking to you because you may be useful to me”. That is exactly where networking starts to feel fake. It stops being a conversation and starts feeling like a transaction.
At the same time, avoiding networking altogether is not a great strategy either. Research on “weak ties”, including a large-scale LinkedIn study described by MIT, shows that looser professional connections can play a real role in opening up new opportunities. Very often, it is not your closest circle that tells you about a new project, a job opening, a mentor, a company, a field, or a path you had not considered before. Close contacts often know what you already know. More distant contacts can bring in new information.
So the problem is not networking itself, but the way we often try to do it.
The worst version is approaching someone with a hidden agenda and trying to disguise it as casual conversation. A better version is simpler: be specific, ask normal questions, and give the other person space to answer without feeling as if they have just walked into a job interview.
At a technology conference, this is easier than it seems, because everyone is already sharing the same context. There are sessions, workshops, company booths, mentoring opportunities, career conversations, and discussions about AI, data, cybersecurity, quantum, biotech, robotics, energy, leadership, research, funding, and the future of work. You do not need a brilliant opening line. You need a sentence that makes it easy for the other person to respond.
The first sentence is: “What from the programme has really been worth seeing today?”
This works because it does not invade anyone’s privacy, it does not force self-promotion, and it does not put the other person in a position where they need to perform their professional identity. You are simply asking for a recommendation.
The answer can be very concrete. Someone may tell you about a strong panel, a practical workshop, a speaker worth listening to, a company booth with interesting conversations, or a session they are planning to attend later. Even a short answer gives you a natural next step.
If someone says, “The cybersecurity panel was really good,” you can ask, “Was it useful for technical people, or also for someone just entering the topic?” If someone recommends a company booth, you can ask, “Did you talk there about recruitment, technology, or both?” If someone says they are still figuring out what to see, you can continue with, “Same here. What are you hoping to get out of today?”
There is nothing artificially clever about this question. It is useful because it is grounded in the event itself. It gives the other person something easy and specific to talk about, which is often much better than opening with the standard “So, what do you do?”
The second sentence is: “What are you working on right now, or what are you trying to learn?”
This is one of the safest and most useful questions you can ask at a tech event. The classic “What do you do?” often traps people inside a job title, and job titles can be boring, vague, or misleading. “Software engineer”, “data analyst”, “consultant”, “founder”, “student”, “researcher”, or “project manager” does not tell you what someone is actually thinking about, building, learning, questioning, or trying to change. Asking about a current topic, project, or learning goal moves the conversation into a better place.
A student can say she is looking for her first internship. A developer can say she is exploring AI-assisted coding. Someone from business can say they are trying to understand cybersecurity because their company is finally taking the topic seriously. A researcher can talk about a project. A career changer can explain what they are learning and where they feel stuck.
This question also has one major advantage: it does not assume seniority. You can ask it to a senior leader, a mentor, a recruiter, an engineer, a founder, a PhD candidate, a student, or someone attending their first tech conference. Everyone is working on something. Everyone is learning something.
Research from Harvard Business School on question-asking shows that people who ask more questions, especially good follow-up questions, are often perceived as more responsive and more likeable. In networking, this matters in a very practical way. A good conversation rarely starts with impressing someone. More often, it starts when the other person feels that you are actually listening.
The third sentence is: “I’m looking for people working on [topic] today. Do you know who would be good to talk to?”
This one is especially useful when you do have a goal, but you do not want to hide it behind awkward small talk. Maybe you are looking for people working in cloud security, junior hiring, data science, quantum, energy tech, product management, biotech, mentoring, investing, or first jobs in IT. You can say that directly.
“I’m looking for people working in cybersecurity today. Do you know who would be good to talk to?” sounds normal because it is clear. “I want to meet interesting people” is pleasant, but it does not help anyone help you. “I’m looking for companies that actually hire career changers” is much more useful. “I’d like to speak to someone about entering data engineering” is useful too.
There is nothing pushy about this question as long as you are not immediately asking for a favour, a referral, a private introduction, or half an hour of someone’s time. You are asking for a pointer. The other person may recommend a session, a booth, a mentor, a recruiter, a speaker, or another participant. They may also say they do not know. That is still fine, because the exchange was honest and specific.
The more precisely you name what you are looking for, the easier it is for someone to help. At a large conference, vague networking is hard work for everyone. Specific networking is easier.
What matters most, however, is what happens after the first sentence.
Networking usually does not become awkward because someone chose the wrong opener. It becomes awkward when the question is only a pretext for a monologue. This is a common mistake: you ask someone about their project, listen for a few seconds, and then take over the conversation with your own full professional backstory.
A better rhythm is simple. Ask one question. Listen to the answer. Ask one follow-up. Then, if it makes sense, say why the topic matters to you.
If someone says they are working on cloud migration, you do not need to immediately tell your whole career story. You can ask, “What has been the hardest part so far: the technology, the process, or the people?” If someone says they are learning data analysis, you can ask, “Are you learning it for a job, for a project, or to explore the field?” If someone says they are looking for an internship, you can ask, “Do you already know which area you want to go into, or are you still testing different options?”
A good follow-up question often does more than a polished self-introduction. It shows that you are not just exchanging professional labels. It also allows the other person to answer as a real person, not as a rehearsed LinkedIn summary.
Ending the conversation matters too, and this is where many people get unnecessarily uncomfortable. You do not have to wait until both of you start looking at your phones. You can close the conversation normally.
You can say: “Thank you, that was really helpful. I’m going to check out that session.” Or: “It was great talking to you. Can I add you on LinkedIn?” Or: “I don’t want to keep you from your plan for the day, but thanks for the recommendation.”
That is enough. A good networking conversation does not have to be long. It has to be useful, respectful, and clear.
At the Perspektywy Women in Tech Summit, people come from many different places: students, specialists, engineers, scientists, founders, mentors, recruiters, technology partners, leaders, and people who are only just starting to build their path in STEM, Tech & IT. At this scale, it is easy to feel that you are supposed to “be good at networking”. In reality, something simpler matters more: entering a conversation with clarity, honesty, and enough attention to actually hear the answer.
You can ask what is worth seeing today. You can ask what someone is working on or trying to learn. You can say directly who you are hoping to meet and ask for a useful pointer.
These are not magic lines. They are normal sentences that make it easier to start a real conversation without making it weird. And often, that is exactly what works best.
